How often do we get that type of divine time? Once, maybe twice. Anyone who says the last time they were truly THAT happy was in the say the delivery room- they are lying. I don't care how long you waited for that baby, how awful the pregnancy, whatever, you are relieved that you have a beautiful baby, even so full of emotion that you don't care who sees your lady humps, and bumps and dimples and dumps. But you were not happy. There is a difference.
Almost two weeks ago now I witnesses happiness. In the most pure form that I think I have ever seen.
My sister, Julie, got married. Now Julie has been married before, she has my two as I like to call them, out of body children. I think I actually love them as much as my two kids I just don't have to pay for them, can give them back and though I was there when they were born I don't have to privilege of claiming any stretch marks.
I'm sure Julie was happy at the first wedding. But not the happy she was two weeks ago. I tried and thought about my own wedding and I was nervous and excited but, not the happiest I've ever been. Is that odd? Maybe.
Julie jumped off the "Heading to be single forever, I am badass and don't need a man" train. Straight on the "Gosh darn sweet baby boy, I don't care how many kids you have (Four by the way) or that you and I only known each other a couple weeks. I done fall head over heels in love wit ya!" Yeah it was that kind of happy.
Marriage and courting the second time around don't really work the way they do the first time. I can now see why lots of animals in the wild (lobsters) mate for life. It's hard to have to do it a second time and make sure it's right this time around. No one walks into marriage with the divorce papers in the works, especially not my sister. You know that scene in the original National Lampoons, Vacation, when the cop pulls Clark over because he forgot to get the dog from the back of the car bumper at the rest stop. The cops says "The little fella held on as long as it could", that was my sister. She held on as long as she could almost 14 years of running. No one thought she would finally lift her legs and just lay down.
So here are some differences of 20 something marriage and Middle Age (30 something) marriage
- You can't wait to have sex---You can wait cause really your tired and need a nap
- You are goo goo gaga over the ring----You realize that damn you want a bigger one than you had before
- So excited when you get your tenth set of Pyrex dishes so you can invite your in-laws over and cook them dinner---Don't give me one set of Pyrex and honestly I've done the whole in-laws thing and honestly that whole "if you marry me you marry my family, yeah not this time"
- You can't wait for people to ask when you will move into your own little house---Crap now one of you have to move and there is no way you are living in, her, old house. And he is not going to sleep in, his, bed.
- You have the line down pat- "We are just going to enjoy being newlyweds and spend every waking minute with each other and go to Hawaii for our anniversary, move into a house then start a family". You nearly can see hearts and unicorns shoot out their butts.---HELL NO we are not having kids I lost count on how many we have together.
- What's mine is his and what's his is mine. Chores, kids, money....---This is mine don't look at it, touch it or I will know, you will take out the garbage, and yes I have a secret bank account that you will not touch until I know you are not the like the D-bag I married before.
- The wedding will include everyone we love, just a time to celebrate our love---We are going to dance and I'm going to have the cake I want to actually eat. And again it's optional if either of our families even come because really we are the ones paying this time around.
But no matter what you have faced or will face it still comes down to that stupid vinyl sign that every good newlywed couple have on a wall in their apartment, All Because Two People Fell In Love. Now it just says," All because two people tried to put up with the other persons crap for far to long and they finally realized you will never change so they left got a life, became the person they knew they should be, gained self-esteem and found a new person that was willing to try it again".
Now you will need a large wall to put that up on but isn't that what we all want? Someone that realizes that it's hard, harder than you will ever think. Then once in a while you will meet someone that is maybe not the perfect prince charming but you realized that he does not exists. He's kind, a hard worker, makes you smile, is willing to make the kids smile, and honestly you just have not been this happy is a very long time. It's that simple.
Congratulations Lance and Julie... I love you both
Thank you both for letting me witness happiness, love and celebration. You have no idea how much it meant to me to be at your wedding.
Love,
Kris
